89/366
We're back to rainy days around here, which means getting creative and blanket forts.

88/366
It was obviously a long day for all of us, as evidenced by the bags under my eyes I'm sporting. On Friday and Saturday nights Z goes to bed at ten, which of course means that Az's bedtime is pushed back as well. Neither of them made it that far this night though; around 9:30 both of the kids came to me separately and snuggled in while we watched T.V. Within minutes both of them were snoring on my shoulder.

87/366
On the mornings I work I set my alarm to 4:40AM so I can nurse Az a few minutes before peeling myself out of bed to go hit the shower. Az goes to bed at nine, just after Z, because Z has trouble remaining quiet for a sleeping baby. It's been easier for me to just go to bed with her lately, especially since by the time we get Z to bed and then get ourselves ready it's much closer to ten a lot of the time. I know I'm taking great strides backwards in my efforts to get Az to be able to fall asleep completely on her own, without me laying in bed with her at all, but I've got to say that our quiet time alone, when we read stories before crawling under the covers ("bobbies") has become something I look forward to all evening.

86/366
Doing her "makeup" in the mirror, with an eyeshadow applicator she found in my drawer of girlie stuff. Sigh. My makeup, princess doll, tutu loving girl. I think as soon as the weather improves I'm going to have to look into getting the Power Wheels Harley up and running, to balance things out. I'm still holding on to the hope that she will turn out to have a streak of tom boy in her. I only wore dresses until the age of five, when I refused to put on another dress until high-school. So I can hope. Az picked out most of her outfit this day and she mostly did a good job of it, at least as far as the rain boots.

When we met Z's bus we decided to continue on down the hill and go for a walk. It had been raining the past few days so it felt good to get out and move about. As a result, there were nice big puddles for the kids to stomp and splash in. And stomp and splash Az did. We walked down to the river to check out the swollen body of rushing water but Az didn't understand why I wouldn't let her actually touch the water, and anyhow the group of teenagers milling about down there smoking sort of ruined the moment.

On the way back up we ran into a boy Z knew, a boy he used to go to school with and in fact the very same boy that bullied him so much I had to arrange for Z to start school an hour later for a while so he could avoid riding the bus with him. The boy asked Z to come shoot hoops with him, and at first I told Z no, we had to get home, but then I decided to let Z make his own decisions. As we were walking over I whispered to Z about my trepidation, and reminded him about how mean the boy has been in the past but he still wanted to play with him. Z is not a strong basketball player, he actually goes to occupational therapy for extra practice in throwing and catching, so I was wary of the opportunities we were giving the boy to make fun of him in the future. The boy was perfectly pleasant to Z in front of me of course, but that doesn't mean Z's still-developing ball skills won't be brought up later when I'm not around. I'm glad that Z is so forgiving, but honestly sometimes I wish he wasn't. I wish he would look at the boy and think, "Forget you. Why would I want to play with you?" I'm not really sure what the responsible parenting thing to do was, but at the moment it felt okay letting Z and another child play while I was nearby to monitor things.

Az had a blast in any case. There was a particularly juicy puddle on part of the court that she kept herself busy running through. After bailing the water out of her boots a couple of times I decided to call it a day and we started working on getting back up the hill. Neither of the kids were in a particular rush to get home; every time I put Az down to walk she would run in the opposite direction of where I was trying to corral the kids and Z would sort of forget where we were trying to get to. So I ended up carrying a not-exactly-cooperative toddler in soaking wet pants up the hill, while coaxing Z to come along. The walk seemed particularly long. It was a nice day out, but also a reminder of why I don't have the energy to do it every day.

85/366
I don't know what it is about this girl and dolls. I strongly believe in not limiting girls and boys to gender-stereotypical toys; I present Az with cars and trains and balls and a great huge myriad of toys that do not happen to be dolls, and they interest her up to a point. But oh man, dolls! She is particularly taken with her plastic princess dolls, the ones that closely resemble Polly Pockets but which I've decided are not actually made by the same company. As soon as she wakes up (like even before she opens her eyes, when she is laying in bed orienting herself) she asks for Snow White and Jasmine. Not only are they dolls, but they're princess dolls, and plastic ones at that. Basically exactly the opposite of what I had planned on having my daughter play with in those sweet moments of gazing down at my newborn and imaging the little girl she would grow into. Oh, and to top all of that off of course they come with tiny little pieces of plastic clothing that look awfully tempting to chew on for a 21 month-old. She carries them everywhere with her, so that I spend my days trying to lure them out of her hands so she is free to explore the non-plastic, non-doll world around her. Hopefully she will grow out of her deep, deep love with these dolls and find something else to adore soon. But until then, I have a couple more waiting to make their introductions in her Easter basket. If you can't beat 'em...

84/366
In between running errands and picking Z up from school early for our dentist appointments we had a little extra time so I took Az to the tropical fish store. I hadn't really been planning on it, but then we were driving by and I just knew that Az would really like it in there. It's like going to the aquarium, but $40 cheaper (and as Miguel pointed out, it's almost as large.) Back in the days when Z and I had a fresh water tank we found ourselves in this particular fish store often, most of the time just to look and admire. There were a few less tanks and a few less fish in many of the tanks that did remain, but there was still a lot to look at and Az was able to get much closer to the fish than she probably would have at the aquarium. As a bonus, we were there just in time for the fishes' lunch of blood worms (which Az added to with an emphatic, "Eww.")  I was correct, Az did love it and left the store very reluctantly (i.e., crying.) She held her Jasmine doll up to the glass of the tanks containing fish she was particularly smitten with. Though I'm not sure if she was showing off her doll to the fish or if she was showing off the fish to her doll.

11/52
I wish that I didn't have to be hesitant about bringing Z to parks. I wish that I didn't have to worry about the way other kids were going to react to Z, and in turn how Z would react to other kids we may encounter. There were more kids at the park this day than I expected for a Wednesday just after noon, but Z did well with making friends. He immediately started playing in the sand and water area with a girl a couple years younger than him and her little brother, and the three of them hit it off well. Z ended up playing with a lot more water than I would normally have preferred on a not terribly hot March day and his sister got drenched but frankly she didn't seem to mind at all.

When it was time for the little boy and girl to go Z asked the girl how he could get in touch with her in the future. She came to me and explained that she wanted to give him her mom's phone number, and that she wanted me to put the number in my phone for him. I asked her if her mom would be okay with her giving out her phone number and she told me that her dad would be okay with it. I laughed and said, "Your dad is okay with you giving out your mom's number? But that doesn't tell us how your mom would feel about it." She told me that she didn't know her dad's telephone number. After they left I mentioned to Z that I had saved the girl's phone number, but that I wasn't really sure what we were going to do with it. He remarked, "Yeah, I was hoping she would give me an e-mail address because that would have been easier. But she didn't even know what an e-mail is." It was a good exercise in making friends for him at least. Hopefully we'll run into the brother and sister again some time, so that Z can get to know her enough that actually using the phone number wouldn't be awkward.

83/366
She's just too cool for school. The sunglasses came as a free gift when I ordered a bathing suit. I wasn't planning on giving them to Az but the moment she saw them she grabbed them up and claimed them (i.e. stretched them out beyond human head size.) The goggles she wore around her neck all day. I offered to help her take them off or at least push them on top of her head but she not-so-politely declined.

82/366
Miguel chose to bring out our own little Wild Thing tonight. She was actually wearing this same bodysuit before last March quite comfortably. It would have been more comfortable tonight with the hood down but every time it fell off Az would pat her head and request the "hat." In the middle of the night it seemed like Az was irritated that she couldn't fully stretch her legs so I ended up stripping her down to the onesie underneath and throwing a hoodie and leggings over it. At least we got one last cute photo before the suit's retirement.

81/366
Washing dishes with Grandmama after spending the night at her house. Miguel, Uncle Shane, and I went to the Academy of Science Nightlife while the kids stayed with their Grandmama. I had told my mom to go ahead and keep the kids up late rather than attempt to put Az down for the night, but I ended up being designated driver for the boys and we followed my friend we'd met up with at the Academy over to a bar in San Francisco. We didn't get home until past late, and both of the kids were passed out. Az has never been put down for the night by anyone but me, as she still relies heavily on the nurse to sleep method (which I'm aware is not a method recommended by anyone, but it is what it is.) However, my mom still had all of her hair left and Az was sleeping pretty soundly when I climbed into bed with her so a big milestone seems to have been reached, big to me at least: Az's first time being put to bed by someone other than Mom.

21 Months

80/366

Az at 21 months:

• Still loves music and her dolls.
• Is beginning to put together her own 2 word sentences (rather than just mimicking word combinations she has heard) and even some simple 3 word sentences, to communicate her thoughts and desires.
• Her vocabulary continues to explode. Often I find I don't know what she is saying even though she is speaking clearly because I don't expect her to know a word. Simple requests like, "cheese please" or asking for a spoon when I hand her a bowl of cereal confound me longer than they should because not only do I not expect her to know the words "cheese" or "spoon," I don't expect her to have desires for things that are not right in front of her or which she hasn't seen lately. I obviously need to catch up.
• A couple of cute Az-isms: A chair is a "sit down" obviously, and a blanket is a "bobby." I'm not sure where that one came from.
• Az is very good about saying "thank you" unprompted, and now I'm teaching her to say "please." She very rarely says it on her own, but will give me a please when I prompt 100% of the time. I'm sometimes amazed at the things she thanks me for, things that I'm amazed she understands warrants gratitude. Most of the time I help her with things I am rewarded with a "thank you," so I think she understands what the words mean.
• She has begun to show an interest in looking at pictures, on the walls, in albums and books, and on the computer, though her very favorite is looking at pictures directly on the screen of my camera. She likes identifying people, but her favorite is spotting a picture of Z. 
• When playing with like things she will sometimes line them up in a pattern. For instance when playing with Duplo blocks she has lined up the Duplo people boy, girl, boy, girl, etc. This seems advanced to me, as simple patterns are one of the things I have covered and watched kids struggle with when teaching kindergarteners. It would be splendid if it turned out Az had a leg up on early math concepts.
• Still wearing a size 3 diaper. Sometimes I suspect she will be in a size 3 until she potty trains.
• However, she does seem to be going through a growth spurt; the 12-18 month pants she has been wearing forever are finally beginning to become too short, though 18-24 month pants still seem to be a tad bit long. (The pants in the above photo are 18-24 months.)
• She still isn't sleeping through the night, not even close. She might sleep two hours on her own in the pack 'n play when I put her down for the night, but the rest of the night she spends in bed with me. She is beginning to accept being soothed by Miguel so sometimes when she wakes up after those two hours Miguel can go in and lay down with her. She still nurses throughout the night on demand, though it seems like she might demand it a little less often lately, which means I'm finally getting some sleep.
• Has taken to running with her arms angled out behind her, Superman style, which makes something that is already cute downright adorable. 
• Az still loves to dance, and has added singing to her repertoire.  
• She continues to be a little less fearless than I would prefer and is a little dare devil. It's fun seeing the ways she is similar and different than Z at this age. I remember that Z was less fearful of things than he is now, but it seems like Az is much more of a dare devil than he ever was. She is fairly good about not doing things I tell her are dangerous, though she does try to test boundaries occasionally. When she is doing something she isn't supposed to and is spotted she will freeze and stare at me, as if I can only see her when she is moving.

I can't believe how close we are to those Terrible Twos! Only three more months...

79/366
There is just no way my baby girl is old enough to spin on play equipment like this alone. And yet, here she is. I never would have thought to put her on this because it goes so fast and requires more upper body strength than I attribute to a one-year-old, but she saw Z spinning on it and insisted that he put her on there as well. She's always surprising me with the things she can do. By the way, within moments of these photos being taken she was stripped down to a tee shirt and diaper and stomping and splashing in the water feature that I hadn't been aware existed when I left for the park that morning without packing an extra pair of pants. That March weather sure likes to keep you on your feet.

78/366
Spontaneous dance parties in Mom's room don't wait for focusing.

77/366
Az putting her doll to bed. I've been looking for a vintage wooden doll bed for Az but hadn't found anything that I liked for a price I was willing to afford. Then lo and behold while cleaning out the basement I find my old doll bed, which I didn't even know was still around. I'll have to replace the paper on the bottom but otherwise it is absolutely perfect. When I unwrapped the bed I also found my old Madame Alexandra doll. Unfortunately it is a little worse for wear; the paint on her eyes wore off from the weather I guess, and it has left her looking really quite spooky. Miguel calls her the zombie doll, and will have nothing to do with her. The rest of the doll is still in good shape though; she still cries when tipped up and her spooky eyes open and shut easily so I may try to paint in some eyes of my own. I can't make it much worse. I hope.

10/52
Z sporting his green Saint Patrick's Day milk moustache, while standing next to our green eggs. The boys suggested I dye the bacon green as well but that seemed like going too far. I don't know when I took up my love for thematic meals and outfits, but boy do I rejoice in them now. I'll be sad when the day comes that Z feels like he's too old and/or cool for all of my holiday hijinks. If I play my cards right (and bribe/threaten him enough) I'm hoping that day won't have to ever come.

76/366
We met Miguel's mom and step-father for breakfast at Stumptown Brewery. I was hoping to show off the large deck and view of the river but it started sprinkling so we had to eat inside. Az hadn't gotten much sleep the day before and was still waiting to catch up. Compounded with the fact that she is still on the mend, she was a little cranky throughout breakfast. She's been drooling quite a bit and chewing on her fingers too, which is not something I've seen her do in the past so I suspect she may have some teeth coming in as well. Miguel tried to occupy her with the juke box, but I don't think she understood the correlation between the music playing and the big machine in front of her. Z as a baby would have been soothed a bit more with the opportunity to push buttons on a great big machine, but Miguel eventually sat down with Az and I handed over her magical soother; Az's plastic princess dolls.

75/366
Looking at baby photos of herself with Daddy and Grandma. Miguel's mom and step-father came to visit for the weekend and we dragged them along on our Saint Patrick's Day plans. I like the way that Az responds to both of her grandmothers; somehow she knows that they are her grandmas and therefore special.

74/366
Az doing two of her favorite things: coloring and appreciating her wardrobe, while the rest of us did some much needed picking up of the house. Az found the dress in the plastic shopping bag I'd brought home with me and carried it around the house for at least an hour before finally putting it on over her other clothing. As much as she loves her clothes, the value of any one item increases a hundred-fold when placed on a hanger.

73/366
I finally got to spend the day at home with my baby and play nurse maid. Here she is watching Daddy work on the blinds before he left for work. I swear sometimes that she's aware of just how deliciously cute she is.

72/366
Az's slight fever finally departed. And her penchant for climbing has returned.

71/366
Today was one of those hard ones as a mama. I had to go to work and leave my sick baby. I knew I was fortunate to be able to leave her in the loving hands of her dad, but no one is as good as your own arms. Miguel was so vigilant about taking care of her sick needs (keeping track of her temperature, making sure she got lots of sleep, etc.) that he forgot to tend to her regular baby needs; he only remembered to change her diaper once in a 24-hour period. When I got home she was sporting a very heavy, full diaper but after a fresh change and extra diaper cream she seemed no worse for wear and content to watch her favorite musical video of a little girl dancing on youtube. The next morning I made sure Miguel had changed her diaper before I left for work.

70/366
This was the only photo I took of Az all day. I stayed home with her because she was still feeling under the weather. We napped away much of the day, but Az did come up for some smiles.

9/52
This week Z turned eleven. I have to say, I'm really enjoying this age (something I haven't been able to say in many years.) Z is starting to come into himself, he seems a little happier and is making a concerted effort to be helpful and pleasant to be around. Z has always been a very sweet boy, but sometimes that sweetness was hard for people to see through his quirks. I'm hoping that this is going to be a small reprieve before we head into the teen years. He continues to be on the lanky side, at somewhere around 4'10" and 75 pounds. His eyes are still a brilliant shade of blue but recently I realized that my little tow-headed boy has somehow turned into a brunette.

Z's passion continues to be science and electricity. I'll be very surprised if these don't turn out to be life-long passions for him. He's recently begun to show some interest in planting things, something my brown thumb can do very little to help him with. Every day he checks on the potato and onion he has planted on the side of the house. He also continues to show a strong interest in art, his preferred mediums being building structures out of recycled materials and technical drawings done only in pencil, never in pen. He also enjoys math, so much so that he spends a fair amount of time making up math problems or having me write down Algebra problems to solve.

Z still loves reading, though this year I have gotten to expand his interests to include science fiction. In the past he has always preferred technical manuals and science books. He devoured many of my old college text books. This year I've gotten him to give some of Miguel's and my science fiction a try and as I knew he would, he loves it. At the moment one of the ten or so books he's in the process of reading is one of my very favorites, Ender's Game. Z has always reminded me of Ender, so I'm thrilled I finally get to share it with him. I'm really enjoying reading things in tandem with him (usually I try to read a book right before him though, so he doesn't let any spoilers slip) and then discussing our thoughts with each other.

Z's sense of humor is also developing. He has always striven to be funny, which has actually challenged his attempts to make friends because often his endeavors to be funny were interpreted by others as being mean. Now he is beginning to understand both wit and sarcasm. And of course he still loves his puns. Witty things come out of his mouth often enough that I no longer do double takes. I'm loving my new wittier kid.

Given the opportunity to discuss anything, Z would prefer to lecture on one of the many science topics he knows, talk about one of the web sites he has made (though they as of yet are mostly devoid of content) or the language he has invented, Tolmlots. His language is heavily based on the English language; a speaker of Tolmlots takes off the first and last letter of a word and then reverses all of the letters in the word, sticks the two together and makes a new word. For instance, the word "can" becomes "anac." It is not a language I am fluent in.

Z is much cuddlier than I would have expected him to be at this age. I know at his age I didn't hug and love on my family the way that Z does because I was much too worried about being cool. Z has very little interest in being cool yet. Who knows, it might not ever be an interest of his. His disinterest in fitting in is one of the things I admire about him the most, yet I think his life would be a lot easier if he did try to find common interests and try to blend in with his peers. He says he prefers adult company but I know that he is missing out on things not hanging out with kids his own age. There are adventures that an eleven-year-old can only have with someone his age.

Z is not without his challenges, but I really do enjoy spending time with him. He still gets easily overwhelmed but it's just a little less than it used to be, and that's a step in the right direction. I'm looking forward to seeing how he develops and grows this year.

69/366
I brought the kids to a birthday party for a boy in Z's class today. Truth be told, it wasn't the most fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Az was feeling pretty under the weather. She sat in my lap for a while but was tempted by the play equipment and loud boys running everywhere. I helped her onto the play structure but she didn't  have the energy to do more than just stand and watch the other kids. It was probably just as well though, as most of the other kids were being pretty wild. Make that, really really wild. The birthday boy had gotten scooters for his birthday and the boys spent much of the party trying to push whichever boy happened to be on the scooter off. Hard. I told Z to stay away from all of the excitement but it was pretty tempting stuff for an eleven-year-old boy. He didn't take part in any of the pushing, but I had to keep reminding him to watch from a safer distance. All of the other parents felt comfortable enough with the situation to sit inside chatting while the kids played outside but it seemed like an emergency room visit waiting to happen. Even when a mom did come outside she played a very passive role in the rowdiness around her. At one point her son ran by and swatted Z's new camera out of Z's hand and she said nothing, despite sitting mere feet away. The party wasn't all bad, I did get the opportunity to compare notes with a mom whom has two kids enrolled in Z's school. One of her son's now attends the high-school and she had nothing but positive things to say about her experience, but over all it was one party I was a little relieved to leave.

Electric Attraction

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Az showed very little interest while Z opened presents at his birthday party until he opened the electric guitar from Great-Aunt Denise. Ever the music lover, I think Az might just end up getting as much enjoyment out of Z learning guitar as Z himself.

Birthday Cupcakes

67/366
Today was Z's birthday so I took the kids for fancy birthday cupcakes. When I went to pick Z up from school I discovered that Migs had taken my car seat, so he had to take an extra long lunch break to pick up Z, bring me the car seat, and head back to work. By the time I got the kids into the car I had forgotten my camera. Luckily Z had requested a digital camera for his birthday and had brought the camera with us to the cupcakery so I was able to borrow it for a couple pictures. Az was feeling a little under the weather, but still found the energy to enjoy some frosting. She refused to eat any of the actual cake though. She'll learn.

Best Dressed

66/366
The days when Migs and I tag team picking out an outfit for Az are the best.

Mega Blocks, Mega Fun

65/366
Today I pulled down one of the bins of Mega Blocks that has been living in far reaches of Z's closet. Az was instantly intrigued with the new-to-her toys and I was instantly intrigued in the way she played with them. Even at not-yet-two Z spent his time building structures and machines and engineering materials in ways I never thought possible. I don't think he ever gave any of the figurines and people that came with the sets a thought further than how he could work them into a structure. Az, on the other hand, was transfixed by the people. I tried to show her how to build a simple house but she just wanted to put the people on blocks and line them up. Occasionally the block-enhanced people would interact briefly with each other but mostly they just found new ways to line up. I don't know why I hadn't thought to pull down the Mega Blocks before now but I plan on making them part of of the normal toy rotation; I'm interested to see what the people line-ups evolve into.

Mountain Goat

65/366
My little mountain goat loves to climb. She climbs things Z never even considered, so I'm finding that even though the house was toddler-proofed for Z, it is not toddler-proofed for Az. I'm not completely sure how I'm even going to go about making the house less climbable for Az, apart from just removing all furniture and counter-tops. I'm sure she'd still find something to climb even then. She is completely unfazed by falling as well, so my original hope that she would learn to stop climbing after falling a few times doesn't seem like it's going to pan out. The funny thing is, of course, when I bring Az to the park specifically so she can climb in a safe environment she has no interest in doing anything of the sort. Without the promise of forbidden things placed high up Az just can't be bothered to be interested.

George the Cross-dressing Gorrilla

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Az spending some down time with my stuffed gorilla George. George has always been a boy, for as long as I can remember, but for just as long he has been dressed in this baby dress of mine or one very similar to it. Being the planning type that I am, I remember once deciding that in case of a fire it would be George that I would save out of all of my worldly possessions. Later I added my scrapbooks to the list of things to be saved, but George was still very much on that list. He might not have been knocked off of the list until I had Z, I don't think my conscience ever really let me acknowledge that George had been knocked off of the list at all. George has a best friend Beary a, you guessed it, black bear. Beary also had a soft spot in my heart, though he never even came close to George. I'm not even sure where Beary is these days. My guess would be forgotten somewhere under my bed.

8 weeks

8/52

The two of them stayed like this for a good twenty minutes.

63

63/366
Always with the boots. Very rarely with a barrette.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

62/366
We're obviously running a hair factory around here.

Bath Time For Baby

61/366
Taking a bath at Grandmama's house. Migs and I left her and Z at Grandmama's for a couple of hours while we went to the movies. It was Az's very first time being with someone besides Migs or me. In May we'll be bringing Z to a concert and Az will stay with her grandma so this was a trial run to get Az used to being away from us, with the added benefit of having her brother there. She did fine of course, there are too many interesting things at Grandmama's to miss Mom and Dad for at least a few hours.

Give 'em the Boot

60/366
Az has taken to wearing her rain boots at all times, inside and out. The only time I can maneuver them off is at bed time. It hasn't been a rainy winter, so at least her rain boots are getting some use. The rest of us aren't allowed to wear any shoes in the house but Az doesn't seem to care about our house rules very much.