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After work I was intent on bringing the kids to a pumpkin patch. I love pumpkin patches and try to fit in as many into the month as I can. I asked Miguel to find the kids and I a patch to go to after I dropped him at work and he found me Oluf's in Windsor. The pumpkin patch didn't turn out to be much, just literally a patch of pumpkins at the side of the freeway, but they had a jumpy house. The only person at the patch was a middle aged woman sitting in a folding chair smoking a cigarette. She told us the jumpy house was $2 for five minutes of jumping and since I only had $10 to get me to the next paycheck I passed, but of course Az would not be deterred. Z agreed to spend his own $2 and I released the kids to get their jump on. They both ended up staying in there for fifty minutes so we got our money's worth. I only managed to drag them out because it was getting dark and cold, and under the condition that I could assure Az we would find another jumpy soon. All in all it was worth spending one-fifth of my the money I have to my name in order to see my kids having that much fun (and burning off some energy to boot!)

 

 

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This is by far my least favorite picture of the entire 366 series. It's been a full week; I've been working every day and doing all of the starting and stopping that running two kids to activities and errands warrants, with a vehicle that is not guaranteed to start. I guess I've let my photos fall by the wayside this week. On this day when I met Miguel and the kids at Z's school everyone was hungry so we walked across the way to the noodle house (they're all noodle houses to Az, as all ice cream parlors are "ice cream houses.") Miguel thought it would be funny to pretend the chopsticks were drum sticks, but Az wasn't feeling it.

Here's the most Instagram photo I've taken yet. I made an effort to dress a little more professional today (I've slacked in my work attire since I put on weight during my pregnancy with Az.) Of course I ended up teaching in the auto shop that day. And no, I wasn't actually teaching auto. I wish I had gotten to teach auto, I would have assigned the students to figure out what's going on with my van.

 

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Tickled to be wearing Mama's glasses. I know I need to stop it with the iPhone pictures. I don't like bringing my DSLR to work with me because I can't always keep an eye on my things, and I've gotten lazy about grabbing the DSLR at home. And, if I'm being completely honest here, I like playing around with the iPhone in hopes that I come up with something Instagramable. Soon my phone won't be such a new toy to me though, and hopefully I'll get back to capturing ill lit, blurry photos on my DSLR.

 

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 It has been very Un-October-like weather lately. Even in our small town under the redwoods where it is never truly hot it reached near one hundred degrees. We spent most of the day playing with buckets of water, with a break to drive down to the auto parts shop to see if they could help me diagnose why my car wasn't starting. My aunt and uncle had talked to someone there who said there was a simple test he could run to rule out certain things. The man there was very nice, and said it definitely wasn't the battery (which I had really hoped it would be since that would have been the simplest and cheapest solution) but couldn't tell me much more. So the mystery continues. Oh well, at least the stop at the shop afforded an opportunity to get Az an ice cream at the gas station next door. She asks to go get gas these days, because she knows they sell ice cream there. The girl has a good memory on her.

 

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Z had an appointment with Head and Neck Surgery today to see if he might need ear tubes and to look into his new high frequency hearing loss, but before we could discuss any of that the doctor had to clean out Z's ears. Apparently they weren't cleaning easily as he had an ear infection we hadn't even been aware of. The doctor pulled out some downright archaic instruments and tubes that could have easily been out of a steampunk novel. Z was not enjoying the probing and prodding into his ears, which he was very verbal about. In Az's eyes we were all sitting around chuckling while the doctor tortured Z. She became considerably agitated, which likely fed into Z's agitation. Finally and eventually, after the doctor took a break away from the room for a while, Z's ears were cleared and we were released for the day with the instructions to book three more appointments in the near future. Az's protectiveness for her brother is very sweet. Each morning I have to put drops into Z's ears. Az remembers Z struggling when the doctor was looking into his ears and is convinced that I am doing more of the same. I've had Z explain to her that I'm not hurting him but she is unconvinced. We have to sneak the drops without her seeing.

 

Miguel found ways to amuse himself during the appointment. He actually found the entire spectacle amusing, having been blessed with problem free ears himself.

 

 

 

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It was an extremely warm last day of September; temperatures hovered around 100 degrees, so I gave Az a paint brush and a bucket to paint outside as a constructive form of water play. In the afternoon we brought Z into Forestville to meet up with my aunt Denise. Z and Denise had a date to go to the movies, but unfortunately Az didn't understand that she wasn't invited on the date. She heard Z talking about going to the movies with Denise in the days leading up to the event and she began talking about how she too was going to the movies with Denise. 

When Denise got out Az was very excited to see her. I had explained over and over that we were just dropping Z off and that we would see both of them later, but she was still taken by surprise when Z climbed into Denise's van and they drove off. It was bad enough that Denise had left so quickly, but she had taken Az's beloved Zaezae with her no less. Denise had given us some money to get ice cream and a bag of pistachios so I was able to divert Az's attention soon enough though. Az climbed into her car seat and we headed to get ice cream before going home to see Minchi and paint outside some more. Except that when I tried to start the van it didn't cooperate. 

I've been having trouble with the van starting lately. It seems like when it hasn't sat long enough it will sometimes be very reluctant to start. I finally got the van to start and drove all of twenty feet before it died. When the van is being reluctant to start I have to keep it moving for a while otherwise it dies again. To get out of the park n ride where we had met Denise I had to stop at a stop sign before merging across oncoming traffic on busy River Road. When I stopped at the sign the van decided to go ahead and extend that stop.

The day before I had gotten someone to come out to work on the problem with the van Big O had found. It ended up costing me $180 total for parts and labor, much less than the $500 Big O had quoted me. My experience with Big O wasn't horrible but I won't be going back to them. One of the issues with the van they had advised me of ended up needing nothing more than some readjusting of the part. I usually avoid going to chains for my car care but I had been eager to just get it fixed. I learned my lesson. 

So luckily the van was fixed of its previous problem, though it still needs an alignment, but now it has the resurfacing problem of not consistently starting. We sat at the stop sign, me jumping out over and over to wave people by, for about an hour. Az had to stay strapped into her car seat because if I did manage to get the van started again I would have to get it moving immediately. Az was stuck in that car seat in the hot van, not getting to be with Denise or Z. It was not her day. Thankfully we had those pistachios; I think she would have been completely miserable if she hadn't at least had those. 

When I finally did get the van to start, having done nothing but sit there waiting until it was ready, I was suddenly met with a stream of traffic that seemingly appeared from nowhere and the van almost died again. I got it going, and Az immediately exclaimed that it was ice cream time but I was afraid to stop the van again for fear that it would refuse to start at all this time. It just wasn't the poor girl's day. 

By the time we got home she had fallen asleep in her car seat. I decided to let her keep sleeping and sat with her until she woke up. I owed her at least that. (And don't worry, she did get her ice cream the next day. And the day after that too.)

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I told Z to build a blanket fort for Az and him to play in. I even instructed him to make sure there were "tunnels." Az is huge into tunnels right now. Z got to work and put all his heart and creativity into it, as is Z's way when he has a project that interests him. When he was done he called Az over to come climb in but she refused. The green blanket apparently reminded her of grass because she declared the whole thing to be a soccer field, and then proceeded to jump on it as she has been dying to do on a soccer field. The fort didn't stand much of a chance against her, and was quickly downgraded to a single blanket thrown over the coffee table. Oh well, maybe we'll try again after soccer season is over

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Az and Minchi were hiding in the closet together. I tried to quickly pull the door open and snap a picture of the two of them but one of them managed to escape. (Sadly, this is the much more organized version of the front entry closet. I really need to figure out how to store and organize all of our stuff into three small closets. The towels are currently living in a cupboard in Az's room.)

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Waiting for Z's soccer practice to end (though Az calls it "basketball," as she calls all sports involving a ball.) She's made it very clear that she wants to play also. It doesn't help that the other soccer field is used by kids who don't look that much older than her during the time slot. I'm thinking of signing her up for their Little Kickers program, though unfortunately there is no free program for her. I spend enough money on Z's activities though, I guess it's only fair I start finding a way to fund Az's activities as well. But it's difficult because, well, I fund all of Z's activities. If I wait a couple years the outdoor soccer programs are not that bad; I think it was $50 for the whole season when Z tried it, but Az really could use some social interaction. Since she isn't in daycare she isn't getting that time learning to listen to other adults and interact with other children in a semi-structured environment. Little Kickers might be good practice for when we do need to put her in daycare or preschool (something I'm in no rush to do.) Then Z could start paying Az back for all the hours she's had to wait around for his activities.

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This photo serves as a reminder that I need to stop just taking iPhone pictures. And also as a reminder that I'm lucky to have this girl in my life.

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I quickly dragged this bin into Az's room to use as a table during one of our playing kitchen sessions, but just as quickly she has turned the bin into her stage, for dancing of course.

Az is becoming so fluent in her speech. Today I asked her if she wanted milk and her response was, "Yeah, I do want some." Later while we were eating salad she asked, "Can I have more dinners?" (She adds "s"s to a lot of nouns.) I gave her her some salad and she she then asked, "I have tutu?" "Tutu? You have to wait until you're done eating," was my response, to which she said, "Tutu!" and pointed to where the salad fixings were. Finally catching on I said, "Ohhh. Do you mean dressing?" Az calls all dresses tutus of course.

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The other night I blew a tire while attempting to pick Miguel up from work. I hadn't wanted to get him because I had the premonition that something was going to go wrong with the van, though that could have also just been because the vehicle seems to be nearing the end of its life. When I brought the van in to get a new tire the guy who sold it to me said the tire had blown because I needed an alignment.The guy I wanted to bring the van to had coincidentally just torn out his alignment rack because he was moving his shop, so at his suggestion we ended up dropping it off at Big O Tires on this morning to have the van looked at and hopefully aligned. Luckily Big O is located downtown so it was an easy walk for us to go down to the Starbucks slash Barnes n Noble so Az could get some breakfast. After sort of reading a couple of books at Barnes n Noble (there was too much to look at to really settle down with a book) we headed out to continue walking and I got a call that my van was ready; it had not been aligned because there were too many other problems. The guy said that he would charge me $500 and cautioned me that he was able to turn my tires by hand 90 degrees from left to right. So we spent most of the rest of the day on foot.

This meant we spent the rest of the morning at the park, where Az opted to be swung the entire time. I don't think she really minded not having a vehicle. In the afternoon we did have to drive over to pick Z up from school, and then we parked by the tae kwon do school until he had class there. We had a few more hours to kill, without the convenience of a park nearby so we ended up at Taco Bell. I'm not a huge fan of fast food to begin with, but Taco Bell is one of the chains I especially try to stay away from. (The other is McDonald's. I think I've been to exactly five of them in the past 22 years, and every time was under great duress. Well, except for the time I was pregnant with Z and had a ginormous craving for Chicken McNuggets with sweet and sour sauce.) Funnily enough the shopping center where Z's tae kwon do is located features both a Taco Bell and a McDonald's. Again, I don't think either of the kids particularly minded our predicament of having to eat at one.

Scenes from a nice quiet meal with the kids.

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Az loves Minchi so much. When we're away from home too long she just wants to go home to see Minchi. Minchi is the only being (or thing) she has ever talked about missing. Minchi loves Az too. Whenever possible she can be found snuggling with her. However, their relationship is beginning to be fraught with complications. Az wants to stroke Minchi's tail, explore her ears, and plays in the rough way that two year olds play. Minchi is very tolerant of all of this but takes it all for play. She is very gentle with the rest of the family but wants to play with Az as if she is another kitten. This has resulted in Az getting scratched a couple of times. It hasn't been anything serious, but Az is confused about why her beloved Minchi would do such a thing. This in turn results in Az exclaiming that Minchi is mean, just before going and trying to give Minchi another bear hug. I really feel like Minchi has been the perfect cat for us, but I also really feel like I'm eager for Az to understand that she may need to turn down her enthusiasm. I'm hoping that as they both grow out of their kittenhood they'll learn to be more gentle with each other.

And not on the subject of kitten love at all but something that I wanted to document so that I remember to tease Az about it when she's older, today Az was excited about using the potty all day because she wanted to get to put a star sticker on her potty chart on the fridge. She would repeatedly sit on her potty and request a sticker. When I told her that she had to actually pee to get the sticker she would strain and say, "It's stuck." On one occasion she passed gas. It surprised her and, being her father's daughter, she found it to be hilarious.

When Miguel came home I told her to ask Daddy to help her use the potty. Apparently he decided to go himself while they were in there. When I asked him if Az had gone he told me she hadn't. Later, though, while I was in the bathroom I noticed a sizeable puddle right by Az's potty. I'm pretty sure she did manage to finally pee, only she did it standing up like Daddy.

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It was the first day of Autumn today (which some of us found to be more exciting than others.) It was also the first day I joined Instagram, so you might be seeing more hipster drenched photos for a while.

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She gets this expression from me. Yup.

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One of Az's new favorite foods are salads (right up there with ice cream of course.) I suspect part of the reason she loves them so much is that she's able to help me make them. She pulls her stool up to the same spot by the counter each time, her cooking spot, and commences making sure the salad du jour is to her liking. So far all of them have been deemed perfect by Chef Az.

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We went to see the same cranial-facial panel that we've gone to ever since Z was born. He was born with a cleft palette that was repaired when he was a year-and-a-half. The repair was done very well and the cleft doesn't come into our everyday life too often, but it does continue to affect Z's speech very mildly and his hearing a little less mildly. I knew they wouldn't be able to help us with much today- most of Z's challenges seem more autism related than cleft related, but it's a surprisingly thorough panel. We've been talking to one of the doctors solely about the autism piece to Z for years now and in fact last time I went I was pregnant with Az and was able to talk to a number of specialists about the pregnancy. So it certainly doesn't hurt us to go.

Unfortunately, today also happened to be a field trip day for Z's school. Z hasn't been on a real field trip since kindergarten (which was a crazy realization) so I was tempted to reschedule the panel today. I even called the nurse in charge of Z's case and she encouraged me to cancel, but I was afraid to. The organization that helped us out financially with Z's repair and which, I found out on today's visit, pays for Z's visits to the panel, is eager to get Z off their caseload. A woman from the organization called a few months back to tell me they were removing Z until I let it slip that we would be going to the panel in September. Just in case we ever need their help again I want to keep Z's case active. Which meant missing the field trip.

After the appointment we stopped at IKEA, where I actually managed to not buy a single thing. That is definitely a first for me. Before going in we spent some time in the big brown metal chair. It was a new experience to Az; she was a bit younger the last time we came, and she thought it was the most fantastic giant metal chair she had ever had the pleasure of sitting in and stomping around in.

And, a photo I stole from Miguel's Instagram. Ain't it cool?

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This is a regular thing for the two of them. I think Az is using the towel as a cape here, but she often has a dish towel or hand towel in her hands these days. She often wants us to tie them onto her as a tutu, but this is a skill I have not acquired yet. Z is the only one who can do it to her satisfaction. The other day she asked Z to lift her up to the ceiling to fly. When Z told her that he couldn't lift her that high she responded, "That's mean," and went to find her daddy.

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"I'm a bayarina Mama!"

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At Grandma's the next morning. Notice Az looks well rested, having not wasted any energy on crying. I don't have to worry about Z missing me at all when I leave him for the night. I'm not sure he even realizes I've left. My computer has been extremely persnickety for at least a year now. I'm not even sure how it's still managing to hold on. Even now I have to have one hand holding the charging cable in just so and the other hand holds the cable from the modem. It doesn't leave many hands left for typing. No one is allowed to use my laptop but me, so when Z gets the opportunity to go over to his grandmother's and log in hours on nitro.com he runs full steam ahead and doesn't look back until it's time to pry him from the computer for bed. I'm sure Z wishes I had a more active social life these days; he's got some Club Penguin to catch up on.

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The kids stayed with my mom so that Miguel, my brother, and I could meet a couple of my friends and one of my younger cousins for a comedy show as another belated celebration of my birthday. By two weeks after it no longer felt like a birthday celebration but it was nice to gather a few of the people I love together and head to San Francisco with them. When we returned it was around two in the morning and my mom reported that Az hadn't cried once. The next day she was again happy to leave with Miguel, Z, and me because she wanted to be sure we weren't leaving her behind but as soon as we were away she wanted to return. I hope that this is how things will be in the future as well; it's so much easier to leave my girl when I know she's having too much fun to think too much about me.

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Az loves to play kitchen, and amazes me at every turn with all of the things she has obviously been silently observing Miguel and I do in the kitchen. The girl cooks a mean wooden pizza, with all of the proper movements and most of the proper words. She makes me fried eggs and toast and when she's standing at her play stove flipping my egg I almost believe she's about to hand me a hot plate full of eggs and bacon.

When Z was her age he enjoyed pretending to cook as well. His preschool was at my university and they had all the finest in dramatic play accessories. I remember during one of the reviews the school did each semester the master teacher mentioned that Z didn't engage in dramatic play. My mother scoffed when I told her, because Z had a very vivid imagination. Everything about him was dramatic! Now that I'm experiencing an Az level of dramatic play I see that maybe Z didn't engage in pretending at the level that most other kids his age might. I wish I had tape of Z playing in the toy kitchens and play houses so I could compare the way Az plays with the way he did, just for curiosity sake. I've had over a decade for my memories to get fuzzy around the edges, but I can't imagine Z was as dramatic in his play as Az. It doesn't seem possible that any child has ever been as dramatic in their play as Az.

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Today Z started an indoor soccer program for people with special needs. It's a free program that his teacher e-mailed me about over the summer. Z wasn't overly enthused to give it a try but I figured at free the price was right. If he hated it we could just stop going and there would be nothing lost. As it turns out he loved it. A lot of kids from his school are in the program and the people running it are very understanding of everyone playing.

We got to the indoor soccer field early. A man with a clipboard was walking around and checking kids in, asking people if they were there for that particular program. I waited for him to approach us but he continued to go around us, even when I called out to him that I had a son who needed to be checked in, and even when there wasn't anyone else to be checked in. The man had a similar style and hairdo as Z and I think he was unable to see Z as a child with special needs. It was very interesting to me, and sort of reminded me of one of the hurdles Z is up against; people don't see him as a child with special needs so they don't allot any of the patience children with special needs often get.

I did eventually get Z checked in. Each child was assigned a volunteer that would work with them for the next 9 weeks of the session. The man who was randomly assigned to Z didn't seem like a good fit even from way over where I was watching in the bleachers. I couldn't even explain why now, I'm just generally able to see if someone is likely to relate to and earn the trust of my son. The guy didn't do a single thing wrong, but he just wasn't right. Miguel commented on it before I said anything. I was relieved to hear that the buddies the kids were working with that day were not permanent and had a sneaking suspicion that the guy with the clipboard that looked like Z in ten years would end up being Z's buddy. Sure enough, the next Thursday when we came I found Z kicking the ball around with Clipboard Guy. He seems to be a pretty good fit.

So far the soccer program has been great. I signed Z up for the social aspect, but the extra exercise he's getting hasn't been a bad thing. After the first day a boy stopped Z to see if Z wanted to come over to his house. Z's immediate reply was, "We're really busy." I knew that Z was interested in doing something with the boy so I corrected him and had him tell the boy that he wasn't able to come over that day but that they should exchange information so that maybe they could hang out in the future. While the boys were trying to figure out what information they had to share with each other the boy's mother walked up and apologized for her son bothering us. I told her he wasn't bothering us at all and filled her in on their budding friendship. My phone was dead so I had Miguel take his out so we could save the boy's phone number. The mom pulled out her phone and took down ours, but made a point of not telling us her number. Miguel and I both remarked on how awkward the exchange had been. It's been three weeks and we haven't heard from the boy or his mother.

The other child had told his mother that he wanted Z to come over to their house. In the awkwardness of the situation I wasn't able to explain that I was really more comfortable in meeting up somewhere where both the other mother and I could observe and help with the budding social skills. The mom remarked to her son that he couldn't just invite people over, he had to consult her. For whatever reason we were not deemed desireable play date material, which is too bad because the other child seemed very nice. Getting junior high school kids together is so hard when their parents are heavily involved. I'm glad I didn't have to get the approval of both myself and my dad when I was trying to make friends in junior high, because I'm not sure I would have ever gotten it.

The over-all indoor soccer experience has been great. Z played soccer when he was five and the entire incident makes me cringe still. He very rarely did what was expected and the coach was frazzled the whole time trying to deal with him. This time Z is one of the highest functioning kids in the entire organization. He regularly makes goals and easily masters what is asked of him. I get to give sympathetic looks to the mom of the kid who won't get up off of the field so the rest of the kids can play. I've never been in this position, and the best part of it all is that the mom of the kid laying across the field could care less, it's just what her kid does. On the day when Z randomly decided his leg hurt too much to play (even though he was running around before and after practice) I didn't really care. He sat talking to his buddy for most of the time instead and occasionally played, and I chalked up the whole thing as a success.

The only problem is that now Az wants to play soccer, and the league for her is definitely not free.

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She calls him "My Zaezae." He calls her "My baby." They both complete my heart.

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I got an e-mail coupon from Shutterfly offering me a free photo book, but it expired three days from the day I received it. I've been wanting to put together an ABC book for Az so I took on the challenge of finding at least twenty six photos of Az's favorite things. "M" was for music, but oddly enough I didn't have a good photo of Az to represent music so I staged this photo. She actually was playing with the record player though, so the photo isn't a total fraud. I just heavily encouraged what toy she played with. Which isn't so different from what really does happen sometimes. I've already received the book, it was totally worth all of the "heavily influenced" photos I rushed around taking for three days.

I have another set of photos that I will include in the book I plan to make of this 366 project but I promised Z I wouldn't post them on the Internet. He and his sister got matching skeleton pajamas, his in black and hers in pink. I made them take photos together in them. (Though I didn't have to twist Az's arm at all.) They came out so very sweet, the sort of pictures with lots of flash and harsh shadows that immediately become items of nostalgia. You'll have to take my word for it.

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Diaper changes in the car. I'm hoping these are soon a thing of the past. Although admittedly, trying to find a potty in public for a toddler just learning to hold it isn't much more fun.

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Nail polish may just be the key to getting this girl potty trained. The only time she's allowed to look at my nail polishes is when she's sitting on the potty, so she suddenly is feeling a lot more motivated to try the potty these days. We usually end up painting a nail or two in whatever color she desires that day, so she's been sporting rather eclectic manis and pedis these days.

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We've begun implementing time outs for Az. (When I say "we" I obviously mean "I", as I am currently 100% in charge of her discipline. Miguel asked me how I get her to stay, but there is no secret. The first time I tried putting her in time out she ran out a couple of times but then decided to just stay. Since then she hasn't tried to run out once. She asserts herself by standing up in front of the stool rather than sitting as instructed, but I let her get away with that much. She even requests to go sit in time out sometimes when she wants some time to herself, so I feel like it has been successful. I feel like Az sees it as a consequence and a place to cool down rather than a punishment.

The rest of Az's day was much better than her two minutes in time out. It was the three year anniversary of the day my father passed so I decided to head to the ocean. I had to go into Santa Rosa (the opposite direction of the ocean) first to pick up Miguel so I ran some errands while in town. After that we stopped for ice cream in Sebastopol because I had been promising Az some for a while. It was getting pretty late by then and I wanted to make it to the beach before sunset so we grabbed some burritos after Miguel insisted he absolutely needed to visit the donut shop next door and after a tractor photo op. And then I started racing the sun to the horizon. The beach I wanted to go to because it held the most significance in terms of my dad and me was too far away so I ended up stopping at a parking lot I had never been to before. Fortunately the parking lot was for a trail down the face of the cliff that led to another beach that I had gone to with my dad sometimes. In fact, it was the last beach I went to with him before he went into the hospital and never came out.

We ended up running towards the horizon and just making it. Like just. The sun set and I ate my burrito but the thing about the ocean after the sun sets is that it's really cold, so we didn't end up staying very long. I'm glad that we made the effort to get to the sunset though. Even with all of the changes that occur throughout life, a sunset stays pretty much the same: perfect.